Sex Missionary Under Fire

This fascinating piece of scientific research on sex from Stuart Brody flies directly in the face of contemporary culture and has come under sustained fire as a result.

Sex Missionary Under Fire

Every Office needs a Terry Tate

"I really believe we are 'paradigm-breaking' here." Can't the managers get the same treatment?

SPINE EXCLUSIVE: Government Defends Radical New Speed Camera Policy

The Spine exclusively reveals the following: The government has defended its plans to introduce a new range of Gatso speed cameras onto British roads. The cameras come armed with twin multiple-rocket pods and a heat seeking missile capable of disabling a vehicle nearly thirty miles from the point where a speeding offence was committed. ‘This is a deterrent,’ said transport secretary, Douglas Alexander. ‘If drivers know that they face the risk of being hit by a high explosive ordinance, they might think a little more carefully about speeding. And with a thirty mile range, we can have highly trained controllers review the tapes before they decide to fire the missiles.’

Leaked government figures have revealed that they expect nearly 2000 casualties each year as a direct result of the new speed cameras, but they projections also estimate that accidental deaths will drop by nearly 4000. Said a transport expect, ‘these might seem a bit dramatic but in real terms, Britain’s roads will be safer.’

All credit to http://www.the-spine.com/ for their incisive comments.

Crosswind landings

A combination of a powerful soundtrack with the awe-inspiring heroism displayed by these INCREDIBLE airline pilots makes for compelling viewing as Boeing secretly test the ability of the 747 and 777 to cope with crosswinds at an undisclosed location.

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Those pilots are worth EVERY PENNY of the salaries they are paid while they hold our lives in their hands. They train in secret, do their job unseen and then go home. Heroes all.

The power of television

Just watching a Christmas 'Challenge Anneka', Anneka put out a television appeal and no sooner had the phone number appeared on screen the switchboard started ringing with hundreds of phone calls one after the other.

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A truly awesome testament to the power of television. And astonishing to see that some people will pick up the phone and dial a number that appears on the screen apparently without a moment's hesitation. I was so surprised I thought I would blog it straight away.

Having a good giggle

There's such a fine line between laughing and crying when a baby is all excited. But this little one waits with great anticipation to be prompted into gales of laughter. Delightful.

A close shave in anyone's book...

This video would be enough to induce fatal apoplexy in half the Health & Safety Executive in this country. The other half however would seize all passports and introduce a permanent ban on all travel outside the UK. So if you are from the HSE, for all the good it might do, please don't watch.

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If you however are a fully paid up member of this planet, I guarantee you will watch this more than once for the sheer shock of the woman only just getting away with rushing across the path of an oncoming bullet train.

Join the queue...

The thing I hate about queues is that you always have to join them at the back. Somehow it offends my sense of entitlement.

December (First Day)

December (First Day), originally uploaded by magic fly paula.

The stamp of success

Did this pass you by? You can now purchase your stamps online, print out a pre-paid label with an address on, either straight onto an envelope or on to a piece of A4 paper, stick on to your letter and send!

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There is no extra charge for the service. You do have to pay £3.50 deposit but if that is unused after a year it is returned to your debit account. And you have to post your letter by the end of the next working day. But if you don't post it then you can get a refund within seven days on your stamp charges.

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How about that! And it looks quite professional too. Ahh, the Internet. It's handy sometimes.

Borat Answers Back

Sacha Baron Cohen has answered back concerning his latest film, Borat according to the Times. He is right to satirise racism wherever it is and to point out how deeply appalling it is. However, to egg people on to join him in his own brand of racism is not acceptable because he has caused offence to an entire nation.

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It's a massive own goal and in my view profoundly mistaken.

Borat, aren't you being racist?

I don't get what's funny about pretending you are from a foreign country, labelling your countrymen as backward, talking about how they call their women whores, abuse their children, drink horse urine, hate the Jews and beat their wives. Then suggest that the bemused manner in which Americans respond is evidence of latent racism in them.

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But if it is so funny, why didn't Cohen pick another country to stereotype? Say, a country with black people in it? Or Israel? Or an Islamic country? Of course he wouldn't. That would be far too blatant. Or dangerous. It would cross the line. He wouldn't do it because it would be deemed racist.

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So how does he get away with being so prejudiced towards Kazakhstan? Is it because they don't have the muscle to stick up for themselves? Is it funny because we don't know where Kazakhstan is on the map?

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In any event if I laugh along with Cohen's slurs, why is it not like laughing at the antics of a playground bully?

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In attempting to highlight the wrongs of others, Cohen has become an example of what he is trying to despise. I don't think I'll be going to see this film.

Favourite Movie of all Time?

A VERY difficult question because of the huge range of films to choose from.

Considerations

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1. Did I enjoy it regardless of its subsequent reputation?

2. Would I want to watch it again?

3. For the A-list, which movies would I grab if the building was burning down?

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Here are the interim results.

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A

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Band of Brothers, Driving Miss Daisy, Gladiator, Mona Lisa Smile, The Remains of the Day, Shadowlands,

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B

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Airplane, Ali, Arthur, Artificial Intelligence,

Back to the Future I, Bridget Jones, Blade Runner, Braveheart, The Bodyguard, Bourne Identity, Batman Trilogy, Beauty & the Beast, Bruce Almighty, Bugsy, Backdraft, Batman Begins, Batman, A Beautiful Mind, Black Hawk Down, Bourne Supremacy, Buffalo Soldiers, Bugsy Malone,

Catch Me if you Can, Chocolat, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Cider House Rules, Cinderella Man, Coach Carter, Cocktail, Collateral, The Color of Money, Cold Mountain, The Constant Gardener, Crouching Tiger: Hidden Dragon,

Dangerous Liaisons, Dead Poets Society, The Devil Wears Prada, Die Hard I II III,

Emma, Empire Records, Enigma, Entrapment, E.T. - The Extra Terrestrial, Etre et Avoir,

Fame, Far & Away, The Fast & the Furious, Fight Club, First Knight, A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, Forrest Gump, The Firm, Four Weddings & a Funeral, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe,

Gandhi, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, The Great Escape, The Godfather I II III, Good Will Hunting, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Good Morning Vietnam, Good Night & Good Luck, A Good Year, The Green Mile, Groundhog Day,

HP & the Philosopher's Stone, HP & The Chamber of Secrets, HP & The Prisoner of Azkaban, HP & The Goblet of Fire, Heat, Hitch,

The Incredibles, Indecent Proposal, Independence Day, Indiana Jones, In the Line of Fire, The Inside Man, It's a Wonderful Life,

James Bond I-XXI, Jaws, Jerry Maguire, Jesus of Nazareth, Joan of Arc, Jurassic Park,

L.A. Confidential, Last of the Mohicans, The Last Samurai, Leap of Faith, Leon, Lethal Weapon, Liar Liar, LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring, LOTR: Two Towers, LOTR: Return of the King,

Monsters Inc, Man on Fire, Mary Poppins, MASH, The Mask, Matchstick Men, Matrix I II III, Men in Black, Million Dollar Baby, Minority Report, Miss Potter, Mr & Mrs Smith, Mrs Brown, Mrs Doubtfire, The Muppet Christmas Carol, My Fair Lady,

Nanny McPhee, NL: Christmas Vacation,

Ocean's Eleven, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, An Officer & a Gentleman, Oliver Twist, Out of Sight,

Passion of the Christ, Patch Adams, The Patriot, A Perfect World, Phenomenon, Pleasantville, Police Academy, Pretty Woman, Pride & Prejudice,

The Railway Children, The Rainmaker, Rain Man, Rasputin, Remember the Titans, Road to Perdition, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, The Rookie, Roxanne,

Saving Private Ryan, Scent of a Woman, SeaBiscuit, School of Rock, Shakespeare in Love, The Shawshank Redemption, The Sixth Sense, Sommersby, The Sound of Music, The Snowman, Spellbound, Spiderman I II, SW: The Phantom Menace, SW: Revenge of the Sith, SW: Attack of the Clones, Star Wars: A New Hope, SW: The Empire Strikes Back, SW: Return of the Jedi, Superman I II III,

Terminator, Terminator 2, The Thomas Crown Affair, Three Kings, Top Gun, Trading Places, Training Day, The Truman Show,

Unforgiven, The Untouchables,

Wallace & Gromit: A Grand Day Out, W&G: The Wrong Trousers, W&G: A Close Shave, W&G: Curse of the Were-Rabbit, Wedding Crashers, We Were Soldiers, Willie Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, What Women Want, The Wizard of Oz,

The X-Men series, xXx,

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Movies I ought to see
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Casablanca, Citizen Kane, Goodfellas, Schindler's List, Serenity, Singin' in the Rain, The Usual Suspects

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Do you have a recommendation?
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Favourite TV Series of all time
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Airwolf (1984), All Creatures Great & Small (1978), The Apprentice (USA) (2004), The A-Team (1983), Bagpuss (1974), Band of Brothers (2001), The Bill (early hour-long version) (1984), Blakes 7 (1978), Cagney & Lacey (1982), CHiPs (1977), COPS (1989), The Cosby Show (1984), Dallas (1978), Dempsey & Makepeace (1985), Dog The Bounty Hunter (2004), Dragon's Den (2004), Dukes of Hazzard (1979), The Equalizer (1985), Fame (1982), Grange Hill (1978), Grey's Anatomy (2005), House (2004), Knight Rider (1982), Miami Vice (1984), Monkey (1978), Moonlighting (1985), Mr Benn (1971), Teachers (2001), The Muppet Show (1976), Robin of Sherwood (1984), Star Trek (1966), Vicar of Dibley (1994), The Waltons (1972), The X Files (1993).
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Can you believe those dates? What a trip down Memory Lane! Did I miss anything?

Reflection on Danish Cartoon row

If the Religious Hatred Law Bill had been passed this week then it would have been illegal for anyone to even show us the Danish cartoons. Tony Blair's personal mistake in failing to turn up and vote was all that stopped freedom of speech being consigned to history in the UK. I find that deeply disturbing.

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Secondly, I am so glad that Muslims in this country have been making full use of their right to free speech to give full vent to their views. It's such an excellent principle, isn't it? It is paradoxical they want to deny it to others.

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Thirdly, why have the government been actively seeking to shut down free speech but have done nothing about hundreds of people parading posters through London threatening another 7/7, making intimidating insinuations about 9/11, and trying to incite people to behead or exterminate those who offend them? Isn't there already a law about inciting or threatening violence?

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Fourthly, if the cartoons were satirising the fact that Islam has an extremely violent underbelly of terrorism and murder, what would be the best way to go about refuting it?

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Only now are we belatedly waking up to the drunken haze with which the government have been drafting these terrible bills. Governments must preserve principles that act as a plumbline in making laws that govern.

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Default on them and you default on your mandate to govern.

Not so great odds

Thinking of playing the lottery?

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Perhaps this might give a sense of perspective.

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'Casinos typically pay out more than 97 per cent of money staked. With Premium Bonds you actually get to keep your stake, plus an average of 3½ per cent, in prize money per year; small wonder the Government doesn’t promote them. The lottery payout? Fifty per cent.

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'And these pathetic returns are so skewed to the jackpots that the average player receives far less than that, even over a lifetime. If you bought ten tickets a week for 50 years, your chances of winning one jackpot in that time would be less than 1 in 500. You would almost certainly lose about 80 per cent of your cumulative stake.

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'To represent the vanishingly small chance of a lottery jackpot in the game of roulette, you would need to build a wheel with close to 14 million compartments; to scale, the wheel would be bigger than London — too large, in fact, to fit inside the M25.

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'If you were picking a card, the pack would be three miles high. And so on. It could be you. But it goes to good causes, right? Well, if you want to give 28p to a good cause chosen by the lotterycrats, buy a £1 lottery ticket. Or you could give £1 directly to a charity of your choice — that’s £1.28, with gift aid.

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'Nor is the lottery much of a tax. The operator, Camelot, raised £4.77 billion in 2004-05, of which it and the retailers shared equally the last 10 per cent: £477 million. The Inland Revenue, over the same period, raised £380 billion at a cost of less than 1 per cent of the money raised. '

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Thanks to the Times for the information

Two Wardrobes? Oh No!

Apparently there are now two wardrobes with a claim to be the portal through which you can enter Narnia. And check out the story of the real Lucy Pevensie in Jack's life who inspired him to get writing about the wardrobe.

My Wheaton Story

When I arrived at the airport, all the "aliens" were greeted with a good old fashioned American welcome of over two hours in a passport control queue of around 600 people, being tackled by 3 surly customs guards, while watching 6 empty booths for the trickle of Americans passing straight through. So I apologised profusely to Tony, my host, who was very gracious when I finally emerged.
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Just then he had a chance encounter with two other good friends of his plus wives, who had also just arrived. One was Michael Quicke, one-time Principal of Spurgeon's College and author of a ground-breaking book on preaching called, "360 Degree Preaching"; and the other was Bob Wiseheart, a retired pastor of various American Baptist Churches. It seemed a good opportunity for everyone and a personal privilege for me to meet the man behind a book I had studied during my training for ministry and we decided to meet for lunch the following day.

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On the way back Tony was really buzzing about this felicitous meeting and we chatted about how the Lord leads and talked about how in Acts the Holy Spirit led Philip to even witness to an Ethiopian Government Official. We were both very encouraged about our encounter at the airport.

The following day was very precious. I got on really well with Bob who had just the loveliest spirit and was so gracious towards me. He decided to take me around Chicago and poured his life & wisdom into me during my trip. We talked about every single aspect of pastoral ministry you could imagine and he gently mentored me with a real father's heart. I thank the Lord for his kindness and ministry to me. I will NEVER forget it.

While I was at Wheaton, I spent quite a bit of time in the library. One day I returned to my computer and there was a guy sat at the next station to mine who was just leaving. We got chatting briefly and he asked what I was doing in Wheaton. Then he said, "You know, I just feel I should invite you to a banquet at the Hilton I am organising. It is usually $75 for a ticket, but I want you to come as my guest. It's an Ethiopian-American banquet." I thought this a bit unusual and fobbed him off. Later at Tony and Marion's I asked them if it was normal for a total stranger to invite you to a banquet at a top hotel. They counselled caution.

The next morning though I was lying in bed and remembered that passage in Acts where Philip went to witness to the Ethiopian Eunuch and I started to read...

Ac 8:26 Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, "Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza." 27 So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians...

That was all I needed to read. Ethiopian Official. Ethiopian Banquet! Maybe the Lord was directing me to go to this thing! So that's how I ended up being at the Hilton in my jeans and hoodie at a banquet of 500 very well-dressed people, sitting next to one of the four organisers (the friend in the library) and finding out about Christians who had been granted the most amazing open door into Ethiopia: a country, incidentally, called the Gateway to Africa.

The Ethiopian Ambassador to the United Nations, His Excellency Kassahun Ayele

But here's the craziest part. What I didn't know was that the honoured guest at this event was the Ethiopian Ambassador to the United Nations, His Excellency Kassahun Ayele, an important government official. As I sat there, I felt the Lord telling me I was to go pray for him and give him a prophetic word. After the banquet I had opportunity to meet him and he listened intently as I shared the word I sensed the Lord had given me; he then graciously allowed me to pray for him and asked if I would keep in touch by email.

I used to preach about the verse where Philip is told to go to the chariot. 'The Spirit told Philip, "Go to that chariot and stay near it." Then Philip ran...' as a beautiful illustration of a willingness to be led by the Spirit. I thank the Lord for the encounter he gave me and the way he arranged for me to end up in that special place. I am always praying that I will keep in step with the Spirit, that the Lord would open doors and give me divine appointments; that I will move and operate in the gifts and anointing of the Holy Spirit. And I am so grateful that the Lord is still teaching me.

And I am learning.

Back. Up. Your. Data.

In my first year at LST I got to know a dissertation student who was running her bibliography off a floppy disk and had no copy on a hard disk anywhere. I didn't feel I ought to keep nagging this particular acquaintance, so I didn't labour the point about always having multiple copies in different places.

A few days later, the inevitable happened. The floppy corrupted. She lost every single reference of the hundreds she had, and had to go through the entire library making up her bibliography all over again. It took her days and she was as MISERABLE as sin. I empathised passionately. I wrung my hands in concert with hers. But what could I do?

Now read the story below, digest and learn. And the moral of the tale is, if you don't want to find yourself screaming in a massive trash dumper in the back of beyond, then back up your data in multiple places.

Now I've told you. And if you are doing a dissertation I wish you well. Happy New Year.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/21/AR2005122102311.html

Narnia books. Christian?

Well, as I have been taught for many years, when looking for the author's intent, you should always go to the author and see what they intended. (I love my expensive education. You can get a degree in it.)

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Here is C S Lewis' view (straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak) set out in a letter recently discovered in an archive, written in 1961 from Magdalen College, Oxford to a child fan.

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"The whole Narnian story is about Christ . . . Supposing there really was a world like Narnia . . . and supposing Christ wanted to go into that world and save it (as He did ours) what might have happened?

“The stories are my answer. Since Narnia is a world of talking beasts, I thought he would become a talking beast there as he became a man here. I pictured him becoming a lion there because a) the lion is supposed to be the king of beasts; b) Christ is called ‘the lion of Judah’ in the Bible.”

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So that settles it? Probably not.

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But as for C S Lewis's intention? It would dishonour him not to allow him to speak for himself. Here we are, Jack. Here's your moment.

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"The whole Narnian story is about Christ."

Creative Justice. Brilliant.

The Times December 08, 2005

Who says the law is an ass?
From David Charter in Painesville, Ohio
A maverick judge is making the punishment fit the crime

MICHELLE MURRAY anticipated a short jail term for abandoning 35 kittens in a forest. She never expected to be sentenced to spend a night in the woods.

In the event it was so cold that she spent just three hours in the open before being taken back to a warm prison cell, but Judge Mike Cicconetti had made his point. He wanted the 26-year-old Ohio housewife to feel the same pain as the animals she dumped, many of which later died.

“You don’t do that. You don’t leave these poor little animals out and, yes, I wanted to set an example for her future conduct or anybody else who was contemplating doing such a thing,” the plain-speaking 54-year-old judge said.

Judge Cicconetti’s unusual ruling was just the latest example of his unique brand of “creative justice” which has won him national acclaim. He was elected unopposed to serve another six years on the bench in Lake County, Ohio, last month, and this year won the presidency of the American Judges Association.

He sent a man caught with a loaded gun to the mortuary to view dead bodies, and ordered teenagers who let down tyres on school buses to throw a picnic for primary school children.

He has ordered noisy neighbours to spend a day of silence in the woods, or to listen to classical music instead of rock.

After heavy snowfall across northern Ohio this week he handed out sentences involving clearing snow instead of jail. “People will say that it is cruel and unusual punishment — I hear that all the time,” the judge told The Times yesterday. “But what is cruel and unusual punishment? Is it a little bit of embarrassment and humiliation? The old ducking chair they used to use in England, that’s cruel and unusual.

“But when you have people out there fulfilling these sentences, you are doing it for them and the victims and the community.”

The offenders have a choice: jail or a creative sentence. He said: “What could be better than shovelling snow for senior citizens? Do we serve the community better like that or by putting someone in jail at a cost of $70 (£45) a day?” He attributes his unusual approach to his tough background. He was the oldest of nine siblings who had to work part-time collecting rubbish to fund himself through college and studied law at night school.

“I didn’t go to a prestigious law firm. I had to gut it out. It makes you understand what the working man goes through,” he said. He admitted that not all of his creative sentences worked. He gave a drink-driver who tried to run away from police the chance to shorten his sentence if he completed a real running race. The finishing position would determine the time he would remain in jail. The man trained hard, came fifth and was let out five days later, only to use his new athletic skills to snatch a woman’s purse. He was sent to prison by another court.

A drawer in his cramped office in the Painesville Municipal Courthouse is full of thank-you letters from both victims and criminals. The other day he met the uncle of a teenager he ordered to sit outside a pornographic video store. “Part of the sentence, a condition of his probation, was that he finished high school and got a job. He did both and his uncle said he was doing great now.

“When you engage people and praise them for their good behaviour, not unlike children, it helps their self-esteem. My judicial philosophy is really not that much different from a parental philosophy,” he said.

“I have five children. You can paddle them or spank them but what do you gain? Most people want to be good but for little obstacles or habits. We have to change the habits and remove the obstacles. That’s our job.”

JUDGE CICCONETTI'S CREATIVE JUSTICE

A man who called a police officer a pig was sentenced to spend two hours standing in a pen with a hog in central Painesville with a sign saying: “This is not a police officer”

An 18-year-old who stole pornographic videos was ordered by Judge Cicconetti, below right, to sit outside the shop wearing a blindfold and a sign saying “See no evil”

A woman who dumped 35 kittens in the woods was told to spend the night in the same place in freezing conditions

Two teenagers who defaced a nativity statue of Jesus with the number 666 had to lead a donkey through the streets wearing a sign saying “Sorry for the jackass offence”

A couple caught having sex on the beach of Lake Erie were told to apologise in local newspapers

Copyright 2005 Times Newspapers Ltd.